


The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

by PawPunk



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Body Horror, Fantasy discrimination, Friendship, Gen, Kinda?, Male Friendship, Minor Injuries, Monster Boys, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:29:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29404122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PawPunk/pseuds/PawPunk
Summary: Jevin needs help, but not with what he asks for.
Relationships: doc & jevin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RussetDown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussetDown/gifts).



> Trigger warnings: body horror (related to Jevin being a slime boy), blood mentions, minor fantasy prejudice (based on Jevin's species), light hopelessness

“Don’t laugh.” 

Jevin stood on Doc’s doorstep, the icy rain mixing with the slime dripping from his face. Thunder cracked behind him, and if he could feel cold, he would be shivering. Doc blinked a few times before shaking the sleepiness out of his head and stepping aside. “Come in,” he said.

“Thanks,” Jevin said, stepping inside. A drop of slime fell on Doc’s nice hardwood floor, but most bases in Hermitcraft had seen worse. It wouldn’t stain nearly as bad as human blood.

“Good lord, man, what happened to you?” Doc asked. 

“Can I sit down first?”

“Be my guest.” Seeing as Jevin had already woken Doc in the middle of the night and bled all over his floor, it wasn’t much of a bother when he stumbled into Doc’s kitchen and sat at the table. Jevin winced as he grabbed his shredded cheek, trying to hold in all the slime that hadn’t dropped out. “So,” Doc said. “What happened?”

“Don’t laugh,” Jevin repeated. “I got attacked by a slime.” Doc snorted, and Jevin glared. “What did I just say?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Doc chuckled. 

“Anyway, I just… need help applying the bandage.” Jevin fished the spare membrane out of his pocket and held it out to Doc. He had tried not to touch his face with his right hand, but the unconventional bandage still stuck to his hand. He shook it a few times until it detached and fluttered to the table.

“No problem,” Doc said. “Let me see the cut.”

Jevin forced himself to take his left hand off the wound. It came away sticky. Doc sucked in a breath at the flayed membrane. “Man, that slime got you good.”

“I think he was jealous that I’m prettier,” Jevin said very seriously. Doc snorted before taking the membrane from Jevin and patching the hole in his face. His fingers barely brushed Jevin’s cheek, but he didn’t flinch away like most people. And it felt… nice. To be touched by someone who wasn’t viscerally disgusted with his body. 

“Thanks,” Jevin said. He stood up quickly, pausing before he walked away. Doc sat at the table, looking up at him with mismatched eyes- one beady and black, one glassy and red, neither entirely natural. Jevin nearly turned away before spinning back and saying “Can I ask you a question?”

“Just did.”

“Shut up,” Jevin said. “Anyway, uh... Do you ever wish you were human?”

“No,” Doc said immediately, bluntly, as if it were ridiculous to assume otherwise. 

Jevin grimaced. “Right,” he said, quickly turning away. “Anyway, goodnight.” His belly boiled with shame. Of course Doc wouldn’t want to be human, Doc wasn’t a coward.

Suddenly, a strong hand grabbed Jevin’s arm. “But, I assume you do. Sometimes,” Doc said. “Want to talk about it?”

“Do I have to?” Jevin said, trying to give Doc puppy dog eyes. It did not work because Jevin didn’t even have eyes. 

“No,” Doc said. “I figured you want to, though.” He let go off Jevin’s arm, and it swung to his side. “Is it really that hard to put on one bandage? And even if it was, isn’t Keralis much closer than me?”

“Can’t slip anything past you,” Jevin deadpanned. He sat down at the table again, staring out of the open wall at the rain. “So, like, you know Grian?”

“Mhm.”

“You know how he’s kind of a dick?”

“Not more than you,” Doc said with an ivory-fanged grin. 

“Yeah, exactly!” Jevin said. “Grian and I are both mean! And YET, everybody fucking loves Grian, and I- it feels like people cut him a lot more slack for his antics than they ever do for me. Like, when Grian fucks around with someone’s base it’s all cute, but when I put a couple of signs in Hypno’s, I’m like, an asshole.”

“And you think it’s because you’re a monster,” Doc said.

“No,” Jevin said instinctively, defensively. Doc raised an eyebrow at the denial, and Jevin continued. “But, like, you have to admit that people are more forgiving of charismatic, pretty people, and guess what doesn’t make me charismatic or pretty?”

“Being a monster,” Doc guessed.

“Yep.”

Doc leaned back, sighing, hands behind his head. “That is a pickle, huh?”

“Sure is,” Jevin said. “And, it’s like, I could try to be nicer to people. But the thing is, it would be hard, and no one would care! Because I’m always going to be a literal and figurative slime ball. I’m always going to be  _ me _ .”

“Wait, you want to be nice?” Doc asked. Jevin sighed deeply and glared at him. “I didn’t mean to offend, I just… never realized it.”

“I mean, I’m not gonna do it!” Jevin said. “What, am I just gonna be like, ‘hey, Hypno, I know I’ve been a huge dick to you for literally all the time we’ve known each other, but I’ve decided to be nice to you now! Just trust me!’”

“I think you overestimate Hypno’s intelligence,” Doc said. “He’d believe you.”

“He shouldn’t,” Jevin said miserably. He sat heavily in the wooden chair opposite Doc, wishing he could cry. Apparently, it was very soothing to bawl your eyes out for a few hours. Yet another unfair benefit to being human. “I mean, I’m a hostile mob. Why even try, right?”

Doc cocked his head, his flesh eye narrowing as his mechanical one stayed resolutely round. “Jevin. May I ask you a question?” he said in a low voice.

“Shoot.”

“Do you think I am fated to be a bad person?”

“Uh,” Jevin said. His slime ran cold as he realized what he’d just implied. 

“Or Cleo, for that matter.” Doc shrugged.

“No, no no no!” Jevin said, frantically waving his hands. “Absolutely not! You’re both good, man, I didn’t mean to-“

Doc grimaced. “Jevin, wait, I’m not angry! Listen to me-“

“Yeah? Yeah, I’m listening,” Jevin said, trying and failing to sound calm. 

“I wasn’t trying to accuse you!” Doc said. “But if you can recognize that Cleo and I aren’t evil, why can’t you also be good?”

“I-“ Jevin started. “It’s just- ‘cause- you-“ he broke off, trying to phrase his thoughts. “I don’t think you and Cleo are evil. But I feel like I am, and I don’t know if I can stop. I don’t know. Maybe it’s irrational.”

Doc beamed. “Yes! It is!” he said. “You are a good person, Jevin!” Jevin scoffed. “Or, a good monster. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t want to be nice.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Jevin said, grimacing. “But… it’s gonna be hard.”

“I know,” Doc said gently. “If it helps, just imagine you’re talking to Cleo or myself when you have negative thoughts. I’ve found that helps.” He paused. “Or, you could call me.”

Jevin blinked. “Really?” he said. 

“Of course, man!” Doc slapped him jovially on the back with a rough paw. “We’re all friends, aren’t we?”

Jevin stayed quiet. He didn’t feel like a friend to most of the hermits, given his reclusive nature. And that he was a huge jerk. But if he couldn’t be friends with Doc, who could he be friends with? “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, we are. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Doc stood up, and Jevin took his cue to do the same. “Can I ask a question of my own?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jevin said offhandedly. 

“You didn’t really need my help, did you?” Doc said, more teasing Jevin than searching for an answer.

“No,” Jevin admitted. 

Doc grinned his toothy grin again. “I’m proud of you.” Before Jevin could react to the odd statement, Doc had pulled him into a hug so forceful Jevin could feel his organelles squish out of the way. The slime flooded to his extremities, threatening to stretch out his membrane/

“Doc,” Jevin squeaked. “Doc, you’re crushing me-“

Doc released him, and Jevin’s body popped back into shape. “Sorry,” Doc said, taking a few steps back. “So, see you around?”

“Yeah,” Jevin said. “Hopefully before I get wrecked by a slime.”

“Yeah,” Doc laughed. Jevin lingered by the door, listening to the rain pound outside. “Do you want to stay?” his host asked awkwardly. “I don’t have a spare bedroom, but I can put down a bed for you.”

Jevin felt a twinge of annoyance at being treated like a delicate flower, but it was outweighed by relief that he wouldn’t have to fly home in the dark, freezing rain. “Yeah, thanks,” Jevin said. 

Doc slapped down a bed in the middle of his kitchen- nobody said he was a builder- and gestured at it lamely. “There it is.”

“Thanks.”

Somehow, Doc’s almost fatherly persona had left. Jevin… wasn’t that disappointed. He laid down on the bed, only sticking to the covers a little as Doc climbed the stairs to his own room. Jevin didn’t really need to sleep- he just shut his higher brain functions off, staying half-aware of his surroundings. He had to admit, it was much more pleasant to veg out in Doc’s house than in his own open-air base. Jevin zoned out, his worry almost disappearing in the patter of the rain. 


End file.
